NIGHT OR DAY - ITS MUMMY TIME 

 

About five days ago a morbidly obese man falls on my lap and asks me to pay him money to dance seductively for me. This film is much like that man. Now this man did happen to have a special batman suit on which gave him some legitimate bruce wayne esc quality that might have made me pay a dollar or two to see the show but I did not spend the money. That was not the case for Day of the Mummy. Yes I reached into my pocket around the cascading mountain ranges of lint and found twenty five cents and got me a very shiny dog chewed dvd that said DAY OF THE Mu... y across the top (the dog had his way with the title). And off I went through the  vally of parked cars to find my vessel and embark on my journy home to witness my treasure.

 

As I arrived into my house I decided ... is this really the way I want to view this- nay. I want to view this with all its glorious magestry ... So i packed up the greatest friends I have and took a road trip, *friends - tv and dvd player and we ended up in the bathroom* Yes I put the television in the toilet room mounted right infront of my throne. This was the only way I can view such a toxy turvy film such as this. The slight buzz from the old CRT tv echoed through the small room. IT WAS STARTING! Oh what an adventure began.

 

I gave a chuckle as the main character was an obese harrison ford like character trying to make the camera swoon. It was that of legend. I know this actually happened cause the entire movie changed instantly and was suddenly from the INDIANA JONES character's point of view. The sheer amazement of such a drastic change told me that these film makers were not joking around. The part of the film that really took off is when the credits blasted onto the screen at the end. The roll took under a minute and the film lasted for so much longer then that. I found myself during the film looking up some hilarous cat videos which I highly suggest while taking a venture to the throne room.  Danny Glover even made an appearance in the film allowing us to see that his career has fallen lower then Nicolas Cage's, but still his amazing lisp is in there which reminded me of the good times me and DANNY have shared. "Your one ugly Mother *****"  Oh Danny how much I miss you doing a movie that has a budget higher then twenty five dollars. 

 

I do believe he didnt even have to leave his house for this film. Just put up a green screen and skype his role in. 

 

Even though I was in the toilet taking a what I like to call it a prince poo ton. I did find time to do other things. I called up a friend. Ate a delicious babe ruth bar and I also cleaned several clusters of dandriff off my shoulder which I did have names for but now in the light of things just seems pointless. I was dressed to kill in the throne room and the mummy was hiding behind a movie that did not exist. Until the final ending when he said hi and boo and I dropped my final load which while i was trying to remove the rim around my buttocks I asked "was it worth it?" My answer was a very well placed kerplunk.