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Deceptors (video 2005)

 

 

In the Spring of 2015 I found myself eerily without any friends, familyt or any kind of companionship so I thought I would be able to drown my sorrows by finding a good "B" movie on the internet. Then of course being online I diverged into looking up obscure clown porn but I wasn't feeling it all that much so I started going through the different types of creepy fetishes.

  • EEL porn

  • Squid porn

  • Antelope porn

  • Homeless porn

  • Panda porn

  • Bald porn

  • Amputee porn

  • Quadropalegic porn

So as I found myself on a site with Bad Sweater Porn I noticed a link and this link said "Deceptors". Not Deceptors porn... which would have worked for some scenes. But then this came on.

Now first off all it didn't completely make me become completely dissatisfied cause I did see that the main actor, is the director and writer. So I became fully immersed into this twelve year old's wet dream.

Knowing how some of the indie film maker scene works a bit I believe that JOHN JOHNSON wanted to just seem like a ladies man and kiss a lot of "Better then he could Land" girls.  The first indication is the opening of this film which involves him trying to be funny and really going out of his way to touch and grab this girl who is in her underwear. He even blows his entire budget wad to get to this sex scene early on in the film.

 

 

 

 

But then I start to realize the monsters in the film are just the most terrifying interdimensional beings you have or will ever see in any movie ever. Just look at this.

 

The monopoly guy!

 

Who didn't ever play monopoly and go ... Oh if he went after me with a butcher knife I would piss myself. Of course he doesn't have a butcher knife here he just waves his little gloves around.

This amazing tonka truck turned actual vehicle was amazing and I wish could have been featured more in the film!

The MONOPOLY GUY - BADEST VILLAIN IN THE FILM!

WARNING:

The movie below contains violent acts of boredom and should not be watched on an empty stomach or if you have a heart problem and or nursing. If you're pregnant please steer clear of this film cause it will cause complications and or excessive depression which could be bad for the baby's health.

 

 

When you see this face. It should terrify you! True face of terror.

The movie goes on and on ... and on... and on... kind of like a porn that is over 10 minutes long. You only need it to be a solid 5 - 10 minutes any more is just too much.

 

So by the end of the film I felt like I stumbled upon an underground murder room of cinema. I wish there was more I could say about this hidden gem but I feel if I make this review too long it will just turn out like the movie.

 

 

 

 

This hooker's name is MARIAH SMITH, that is what the ending credits say. She also plays the nude monster ghost thing. Which isn't far off from the porn fetishs I had been previously browsing.

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