SO ... HERE IS HOW IT HAPPENED... I heard the hype on how bad this movie was. Now keep in mind I really dont listen to they hype all that much cause a lot of times its blown extremely out of proportion. FOR EXAMPLE. I liked the new ninja turtles. Yeah it wasn't them in actual costumes but it was a fun campy ride which you expect.  So I went into this movie expecting to get some kind of enjoyment out of it.

 

The lights dimmed as two boys hushed the non existant crowd. They prepared in their seats as a slight flicker of the lights came on and then turned back off. Probebly managment seeing if anyone was infact in the theater. Yes we were our images muttered. With disbelief that we would pay for such a thing they started the projector and the movie blasted on screen.

 

I thought I prepared myself both physically and mentally. I made sure to stretch with the only two yoga moves I know. Downward Dog and vomiting downward dog. And I also made sure to pack plenty of tampons and uncase them and put them in my pants. They are highly absorbant and people dont look at you weird when you buy them as a man. Now they do look at you funny when you buy adult diapers. Yeah. Weight the pros and cons on that one. So prep was set.

 

The movie skated in. No excitement yet but I assumed it would be coming. Confusion on top of confusion pushed down on my mind as I tried to comprehend where these friendships will be built or attempted to be built. But that didn't matter we were about to see some thing clobbering time carnage. But nothing came... nothing happened. When the villain at the end of the movie shows up... it is the last 10 to 15 minutes of the movie. So... the main problem in the film... doesnt become a problem... till the end of the movie... and I am left wondering... "what... Why? What reason did I have to keep siting here?"

 

No plot device had me glued to my seat to see the outcome. I had no actual reason from an audience point of view to continue with what I was watching.

It was visually stunning in some parts... and then in other parts it seemed copy and pasted from ms paint clip art library.  Was it me... was it just my contacts messing with me? No my best friend with me experienced the same.

 

We left empty... and not cause we threw the tampons through out the theater before we left... but empty cause... it was literally a waste of our time. We could have just looked at the poster and been more thrilled then the film. No action... no excitement... no drama... nothing. It was like watching Ben Stein sleeping.

 

Over all... I have nothing to say but I'm glad they threw away making a sequel.