HIS NAME WAS AND STILL IS     BOB

 

So here I was working on a filming gig and I stumbled upon this homeless man in a very nice suit and attire and the man was eating some very delicious looking french fries. The man proceeded to give me a stare that said "Those jeans look great on a girl but not on you." So I made sure to keep looking away as to not invoke a rather unwanted conversation from the man sucking on his frenchfries like they were hard lollipop candy and not mushy edible potatoes. So of course it happened. "Yous guys in a band?" - Hmm... should I reply or should I act like this is not happening... Of course I replied. "No we are filming these guys."  His head noded slightly but I could tell its not registering ... or at least the casheer in his brain has fell asleep trying to count the change. "Do you know who I am?"  I looked around puzzled at the man's comment. There was no one around me but my crew and they sure as hell didnt know the man so why would I? A hush came over me as I leaned in ever so slightly trying to fight off the rancid ... shall I say putrid smell coming from the man's feet... (I WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THOSE FEET) Dont think I was trying to talk to the man while on the floor looking up or something or I just so happen to have dropped down on my hands and knees and though maybe his ears would work better if I spoke to his lower appendages. So he smells... enough said... I answered him cautiously saying "NO I dont"    and HE THEN TO MY SUPRISE WHIPPED OUT A MOVIE saying "HIS NAME IS BOB" ... he said "THATS ME" and I said "NO SHIT." (IN MY MIND) ... so before continuing on I got is signature on the actual DVD disk and bought it from him for 25 dollars. This was going to be a documentary about a homeless man's life... I knew this had to be ... what it turned out to be.... 

 

IT wasnt an emotional roller coaster... In fact I brought three friends to view this exciteing escapade of translucent money being thrown in the toilet type of cinematic adventure. Two out of the three found themselves dead asleep half way in ... and one of them said... "I have to go home" as soon as the movie started getting good... well... let me rephrase... it kept the same pace and there was nothing worth noting but the good part was I got up and woke everyone else up with my buttocks pressed to their face and an expell of intensified gas directly into their nasal passages without any detours into any spacious oxygenated rooms. This frightened my friends and served as a great reminder what happens when you pass out in my house... you get passed... in... 

 

So everyone left in the middle of the film and I ended up having to finish it alone... Lets just say... No... to His name is Bob. I mean bob's story is actually interesting and they actually go to uncover his past... but in the editing and manner it is revealed... is a big... no... just... no...