SLAYING ME SOME MONSTERS

 

I believe in Netflix, only cause Netflix steals my money each month... Due to my free trial membership mishap and five hours on the phone with what I thought was a normal person but ended up finding out I was yelling at an automated support help clerk... I ended up watching JACK BROOKS MONSTER SLAYER. Now I know what your saying... you were already agitated so dont be too harsh on this movie just cause you didnt have a good experience. But ye of little faith I wasnt agitated... in fact I considered this five hours on the phone like a free therapy session and I got all my abandonment problems off my chest ... (when I was a youngster my dad got rid of a few pet rocks of mine which would sneak around the house and even get into breaking things ... especially peeing on his bed) So otherwords I was clean and ready for some monster slaying madness... 

Movie starts... SLAYING SOON TO ENSUE (or so I was led to believe) 

In the left corner was a plumber who turns MONSTER SLAYER

In the right corner was a horde of monster being created by ROBERT ENGLUND

How could that not spell monster madness? Maybe cause there were too many letters left over. But this movie feels like it would have made a terrific short film, but they made it long... Way too long. The monster mash only begins at the entire ending of the film. The film's premise is amazing but I think it's just a bit misleading. It should be JACK BROOKS BECOMES A MONSTER SLAYER (at the last five minutes of the film and kills everything and saves girl and day) TO save on words you can hyphinate the last part all together. But it wasnt a bad movie it was kinda cute. I'm a grown man saying the words CUTE ... yeah ... i stand by my words. Just wish they had a bit more to go off... Maybe next time more monster plot less B TEEN DRAMA. 

 

Written by

Gerald Crum